Guardian Angels
by lexieconextreme
Summary: Daria randomly meets an angel with a problem. (crack!fic)


**A/N: Thank you, mother of mine, for introducing me to Daria. Not sure whether I appreciate it or not, but I have this newfound feeling that I am a Daria in a world filled with Quinn's, Kevie's, Brittany's, Janet's, Ms. Lee's, whatever that Social Studies Teacher's name was's, and very few Jane's to find.**

 **Cas help me.**

 **Oh look, my point.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: SPN writers own Cas and I assume whoever owns Beavis and Butthead owns Daria.**

* * *

Daria was just walking down the street from school. Jane was home sick today, so there was no one to walk with her. Just a few moments ago, Daria had seen her father drive by with Quinn and the Fashion Idiots in the car. Seeing as Quinn liked to pretend that she didn't exist, it didn't exactly surprise Daria that she wasn't offered a ride home.

Still, she didn't mind so much. The longer it took her to walk home, the less time she had to spend listening to Quinn and the Fashion Idiots talk about lip gloss or different shades of blush.

Shudder.

Maybe she could swing by Jane's, see how the artist was doing. Actually, knowing Jane, the whole being-sick thing might just be a cover for wanting to spend a copious amount of hours working on some new project.

It wouldn't exactly surprise Daria, but she thought it slightly less likely than her friend abandoning her for the day among the idiots of Lawndale to work on an art project.

Especially since Daria knew that Jane felt the exact same way about the students. Daria didn't think Jane would leave her alone for the day on purpose, so the best course of thought was just to assume that Jane really was sick.

Nearly to Jane's house and thinking about other things, Daria never noticed the tall trench-coated man appear out of nowhere right in front of her.

Neither of them noticed.

Daria ran smack into trench-coat's broad back and fairly bounced off. The man turned to look at her, and Daria stared back with her normal uninterested/bored look.

"Sorry about that," Daria apologized in her monotone voice. Quinn often told Daria she should try to fix that as it was one of Daria's most embarrassing qualities, which just made Daria more determined to keep it. "I didn't see you there."

"It is not your fault," the man said back, in a voice nearly as droning as her own. "I just appeared."

"I can see that, or rather, I suppose, I didn't."

Trench-coat's mouth twitched. "That is the question, isn't it?"

"What question?" Daria asked in surprise, though her voice sure didn't show it. "I don't remember a question ever coming up."

"The question about the question," the man replied, and Daria became convinced of two things. One: she was never going to get a straight answer. Two: this guy was a loony.

Daria rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever. I have to get going now." She turned to continue her way back down the sidewalk when the man stopped her again.

"Are you Daria Morgendorffer?"

"Seeing as you're a complete stranger I literally just ran into, I don't think I'll answer that. See, my mom's a lawyer. I know when not to answer questions I shouldn't."

The man gave her an almost amused look. "I see that you _are_ Daria. I just needed to speak to you a moment."

"Say that I do give you that moment. What then?"

"You would learn who I am and why I'm here, and then you'd never have to see or hear from me again."

Daria thought a moment. "Fine."

The man nodded, and before Daria could even take a step back, the man had pressed two fingers to her glabella. Their setting changed quite dramatically, to say the least. Before, they were standing on some residential sidewalk. Now, they stood just outside of town.

Daria took all of this in with only a vague amount of interest. "Wow, how'd you do that?"

The man tilted his head. "You don't sound all that confused, or like you care at all."

"I really don't. If you can get me here, you can get me back home. So say what you have to say so I can go."

"Fair enough. I am Castiel, and I am an angel of the Lord."

Daria stared at Cas for a full ten seconds before she said anything. "Lord Almighty, my sister was right for once."

"Excuse me?"

"A while back, my sister developed this slight obsession with guardian angels, saying they were watching over us all and protecting us from danger. You're an angel, meaning my sister was right."

Castiel examined the teenager before him. "And you really just...believe me?"

"Yeah, I guess. I've met holidays before, had this kinda weird relationship with Halloween, Christmas, and Guy Fawkes Day. Plus, Saint Patrick's and Valentine's Days came looking for me so I could help gather up the first three and get them home. You say you're angel? Fine by me, just don't expect me to preach the love and values of God and I'm good."

Cas shook his head. "You are without a doubt one of the oddest humans I've ever met."

"I think I'll choose to take that as a compliment."

"It was meant as one."

Daria pursed her lips. "So you've told me who you are, but you haven't told me what you're here _for_."

"A bet."

Daria raised her eyebrows beneath her bangs and large glasses. "An angel is here to see me...because of a bet?"

"Yes. A friend of mine bet that I couldn't find and talk to you in a parallel universe, so I did."

"What was going to happen if you lost?"

Cas cheeks colored, and he looked away. "We were supposed to, um, I believe the term these days would be, uh, make out?"

Daria snorted. "Just like every other adult, huh? And what? You didn't wanna kiss her so instead you went to a parallel universe to meet me?"

"No, I uh, just wanted to prove to _him_ that I could."

Daria blinked. Well, then.

"Hey, Castiel."

"Yes?"

"I want you to do me a favor, since you've gone through all the trouble of searching for me and completely disregarding my daily routine."

"Okay...?"

"I want you to go back to your universe and say you couldn't find me. Then you are going to make out with your boyfriend-dude and get it over with. Honestly. I'm assuming that because you're here to find me in a parallel universe, that I must be fictional in yours or something. To go through all the trouble of finding a fictional character to avoid making out with someone you like seems pretty useless to me. Stop wasting valuable time and go be with him, and stop talking to me, for Christ's sake."

Castiel blinked at the teenager with large, slightly shocked eyes. Daria wondered how often someone dared to talk to him like that with a slightly triumphant smirk.

"O-okay."

"Good, but you still need to take me home."

"Of course." Castiel transported them both to the place where they had originally left from, then stepped away. "It was nice meeting you, Daria."

"You too, I suppose. Happy hunting."

"If only you knew how appropriate that phrasing is."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

Castiel turned to leave when Daria called out one last time. "Castiel!"

"Yes?"

"Are guardian angels real?"

Cas looked at her for a moment, a small smirk playing on his lips. "They are for some people."

"Okay, well, goodbye."

Castiel nodded, then disappeared.

Daria started walking toward her own home, planning to call Jane when she got back. It wasn't until she got home and was sitting on her bed with her phone in her lap, fingers about to dial Jane's number when she paused, considering.

"Did I just give love advice to a gay angel?"


End file.
